after so long i am back here!

hahaha, went through alot of things throughout the past few months. many things went through ups and downs, many experience gained.

it wasn't easy but yet it was still manageable:) haha, actually i really love what i am doing now. Going for meetings, loving people just simple life!

i think i will just leave everything to God's hands, He will do everything :)


anyway, i am here specially to just congratulate my best friend, JUSTINA! haha sorry nowhere to post so decided to post here! AND finally, she is a PCGL!!
Seriously proud of her, haha we gone through many many things together even though she was a level lower but titles doesn't stop us from being goodie friend! :) something that is amazing that even though we knew each other less than 2 years yet we can be as close as sharing really super personal stuff, and she is a amazing friend i can say. Because a friend like her is very different! God really blessed me with such great friend in church.

Many things are waiting ahead for me, i shall not care about what struggles i have. What i have in my hands i will take it and run after Him :)

just for this moment, i feel super duper frustrated. i hate the things i am going through, anytime i just want to let everything out. i really cannot endure this internship  why can't this manager just be friendly and just help me? i just want to do things i am doing in church yet i can't.

i can't even plan a camp properly and the only thing i do was to only be group leader, now thinking back i don't even know if am i doing the right choice by telling Lynette i can help to plan camp.

the feeling of my emotions is filling up my heart.. why can't i just be simple? why can't i just don't study, i know is a bad example but i just cannot continue studying.
can i even endure this stupid 2 more weeks? i am tired, i really tired already.

God, i don't know what to do. guide me please..

i just want a life that i am simple, happily serving God..

New Season of life.

everyone has their own burden, is how we wanna face it.

haha, many many things i need to face and carry. really want to help my dad because seeing him working so hard to just survive, to spend money on us is like.... yet i can spend his money likea free?!

Sooooooo.. my saving plan will start right now! is not gonna be easy because i am not a person that can save money.

i think this is what it means to carry the burden of your own family and in church, in family we helped our parents to do things, to save and earn enough money to pay off your own things. In church, we clean and serve in church to rise up in the CG and take care people who are new. that is what it means to carry burden.

i am in my new season of life, this new season of my own life... hmmm, i don't think is easy at all. at times i really broke down because i couldn't face the stressfulness. i have 4 things on my hands now:

1) Internship 

2) Unable to do much in church

3) Family

4) Finances 

i felt it was like 4 walls in your face that cannot be break down. it is not easy at ALL.

but, PERSPECTIVE is the word. the way i look, the way i think have to be different. i am trying to, i am trying to change my mindset. but i couldn't. 

the only way i could do is to pray and seek God, that's all.

we cannot give up in life so easily, cannot at all because God never give up on us and that is all i can say.

Hmmm, what should i do?
Pray, seek, ask God?

i think this is the best solution, i don't know why but my heart is in a confused state. to be or not? if be will i lose?

OKAY, BE CALM AND LET TOMORROW WORRIED ITSELF.
i guess i just have to see it how God wants for me.

smile, and go on with life.

Greatest honor will always be to serve my King.

had a very fruitful day yesterday! it has been so long i have do this much for Him, this is what i want. this is the life i want to give Him.

let shared with you what i did today!!
1) had a short lunch with Justina
2) Met Cheryl Yeo to do Admin stuff
3) Met Iris to run-through song for CG
4) Met Geraldine to teach her how to play for altar call
5) Play for Iris CG
6) Rush to Media room for pastoral meeting
7) Usher
8) run-through with yilin about admin stuff

How fruitful can it be? haha, at the end of the day you will feel tired, but when you do it for someone you love, you find it very worth it.

This is my God, i love Him very very much. If He didn't do so much for me, i guess i will be doing all these stuff unwilling or won't even do it.

How wonderful is Your love :)

Things to do.

Many things i want to do, at the same time many things need to be change.
i guess being a PCGL is not an easy thing, of course! i cannot take it a job. God suddenly gave me so much things to do, i afraid i can't do it.

hahaha, okay back to my to do list.

1) go out and just hang out with my best friend(Justina) for a day.
i think this is what i want to do the most! don't really have much chances to do this since young. But i think she is getting busier, God is gonna bring her up to somewhere she won't expect.

2) go out with Esther.
haha, it has been really long that just go out 1 on 1 with her because that's when i will get to know my leader more and learn more things from her. miss those times..

3) work at TCA
it has always been my wish to work there, but hahaha shall not say why.

4) spend more time doing pastoral work/ WT
school has always been a burden to me to do things for God, that's why i said i don't want to study anymore because i don't find a need to. just want to spend all my life serving Him.

5) travel to taiwan/hongkong
Ahhhh, like a fun only! when i older then say.

6) Visit runningman!
haah totally in love with running man, i wish they come singapore and film!!

OKAY, done with to do list. now going on the changes.

1) building a strong spiritual life
i think my life i lack of this the most, always lose the momentum. got to change.

2) changing the way how i live my life
need to learn to a role model to other people, i don't want bad impression.

3) building a strong CG
this is my dream, building a CG as strong as Iris's CG, building as fun to hangout like Justina's CG. God, tell me what to do.

4) to give a good and powerful followup and Offering sermon
felt that whenever i give a follow up, the person always end up backsliding. gave offering sermon recently, felt that i gave so badly at the front but Lynette, Esther and Joyce just kept encouraging me.

5) always having a deep encounters and revelation
when we begin to have this, we are able to tell people that hey, i have great God living in me and what makes me believe is because of revelations and encounters.

6) hearing God.
this is my only only thing i want the most. never been hearing God for the longest time. God instead of feeling guilty, i miss You. your Word and Your Voice.


All these things start when you begin to work hard.

We live a great life because we have a great God.

Many people always ask, why this world is like this? but have they ask themselves, why am i like that? 

people don't tend to see issues in their life, all they do is to just complain, gossip about other people. not only youths does this, even adults.

Everyone of us are not prefect, but we can always walk to the next point that we need to go. Today, just a random question i asked Esther, what is my point B? 

she replied: your point B is to walk to your point B.

i was totally stunned because i don't understand what is she trying to say, it kept me thinking.

All of us we always have point B, we always always have to keep walking towards to our point B. there is no stop, no break.

It will be good that the world reflects and think about themselves, then i guess God won't be so busy telling them their point B.

How can we missed the person  who died for us? to be truth, Jesus is the only god among so many who brings me so much faith, hope, love. can you imagine that when you are studying, He is beside you? when you are busy or stress, He is just next accompany you. Not He does not want to come out and meet us, He can't come YET because the things He called us to do is not done yet. when He comes, i am sure the world will be in a shocked.

the best has yet to come, legendary! wait for it.

hanging onto You

Really really wanna raise leaders up in the CG, is so hard to even run the CG by yourself physically. God has really been there for me, even time when i feel so discourage, God is the one that encourage me pushing on.

so tired after a day today, finally sent my guitar for service! hope it will be okay.

CAN'T WAIT TO FUFILL BF. EXCITED X1000000!

the love of God constrain us.

Faith is all we need.

it has been really long since i last blogged, guess this is the only place that i am able to vent my what's on my heart.

promises and words.

the song: what are words lyrics is really truth, what are words if you don't mean them when you said them, i guess some people around me don't keep their words when they say to me.

God has been really amazing, my life is gonna be really different without Him! i can't even imagine what am i gonna be if i am not in heart of God church.

been through many tests by God, it is really amazing that i really last through and because of all this, God really promoted me. be it in titles, God has brought me another level.

New level, new devil. i am believing that God is gonna bring me even higher. :)

no words can describe how much i really love living life serving Him, loving God.

hahaha, God gave me great leaders and friends. people like Esther, Justina.

i am always very encouraged by Esther, forever.. hahah, my problems compare to her is really super small. love been under her, i hope that i am able to be under her forever! hahah.

for the past few month, i met this woman named Justina Chew. i really think that God place her in life! she has been such a great friend to me, we shared like almost the same problems, same vision and best of all! we are under the same LEADER:) love both of them alot :)

More amazing things are gonna done in heart of God church, THE FUTURE IS AMAZING.

kind of missing all the old days in church... really miss it alot.
But at the same time, excited for future.

change me, i want to.
my hands and feets is for You.

My Greatest honor will always be to serve my Lord and King.

I am ready God. change me, mould me!
i might not me the most smart person, or with the most ability, i know that no matter what my beloved Father is here together with me to go through things.

i might be stress over my D&T project and breakdown, but i know that God is here with me to go through with me.

i never, never regetted making the decision to have Him, in my life.

ARHHHHHHH, TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
KILL ME PLEASE.

i just want a simple life that serve God, that serve His people.
That's it, nothing more.

So long since i last posted, two month ago! hahaha

Life really rocks, i have awesome friends, awesome leaders and mostly importantly, i have an awesome God.

I can't believe things passed so fast, is 2011. treasure what you have, if you lost it, is too late!
God has been really awesome, He done so many things in my life that i never expected it. i might not be a person that is good at things, but i have a Living God inside of me, i never reget having God in my life.

Let me show you my awesome friend in school!

REENA TAY JIAQI

she has been my friends for almost 4 years!
you are my closest friend i ever had, we never quarrel before! rock uh! haha
when i am sick, or having exam, you are always the first one to pass me a letter to encourage me! sorry for not being there for you sometimes when you needed someone!
seriously, you rock in my life! I love you!
BBF FOREVER ALRIGHT! (sound abit small kid, but is okay! haha) \m/

NEXT UP:

Both of you makes a difference in my life, we had fun together ever since you came to 4T1.

never reget having both of you as my friend!

HAHAHA, CG TIME!

MY GANG!! HOHO! THEY ROCK MAN! girls gang!

we had fun together man! we really live life together! REENA TAY! MUST KNOW THEM! :D

my life rock! Thank You God for loving me!

Loving my life so much now, although things may not go well as you think, but you know you just got to stand up and keep walking.

Talked to Amy while on the way home today, so much things that we had learnt for the year 2010, privilege to be under Esther.
haha, N level is on Sep+++! i am scareddddddddddddddddddddd!

but i know i am gonna study very hard, and i am gonna...
USE MY STUDIES TO GLORIFIED GOD.

God had done so much for me, i am gonna give the best years of my lives to Him now.

is been almost a month that i blogged! feel so excited to blog!
I had a great leader who is awesome! she is the one who always know where i need to change and also a person who really care for me, never in my life that someone who really care for you so much and teached you. always recevied great discipleship from her, THANKS ESTHERHENG.
if not for her and God, i wouldn't be who am i. (:

i love being in heart of God church because this is where i learn and grow.
i believe that a church is not a place we go for fun, but to learn and grow in the House of God!

God showed me my life, He has a plan for me in the future. can't wait to grow up and see my future!

Had great worship session with Esther and Yiqian, God's presence was so strong that i teared and i started to think back about my life, from a nobody to somebody.
a primary school girl who always act so ahlian, living a life that nobody really cares, but now, i am living a great life for God and studying really hard for my future!

If no one will stand up for Jesus, i will be the first one, because God changed me.
i want to devoted to You, my God.

one thing, that i ask that i may dwell in Your House forever.

Feeling real down now.
I need to rely on God, i can't do it with my own strength but God's strength.
gonna pray more, worship more, listen to Him more.

DEEPER IN LOVE
One thing that I desire in my life Lord
To thirst and hunger after You alone
With all my heart and soul
With all my strength and love
To worships as Your glory fills this place

Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love With You
I love you more than anything in life
Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love with You
Oh how I love You Lord

This song is very powerful, whenever i listen to this song, i just want to worship God.
I love You more than everthing in my life.
I place You over my Studies,
over friends,
over myself.

Love spending time thinking of God, my life and peoples whenever i am travelling(:
School was awesome! i went curious about maths! haha, gonna improve my maths NOW.

times files! i left exactly one year to my N level next year! i need to start working hard now! gonna use my studies to glorify God as well!

i know things is gonna be much better than last time!
looking towards my future and destiny in God!

GROWTH.

I need to start off my spiritual life now, i got to flee temptation to sleep! haha
this was so powerful, i read this topic on guitar4Christ on how to play guitar with anointing.
And it said that the most important thing you need to know that,
YOU ARE A MINISTER OF GOD.

I am sure that my relationship with God is gonna draw much closer.
I mean what i say and i will do it.

Had a great prayer meeting in school today! We did something different, as what jiajia said, what her leader, fedora did was she stand in front of the parade square and started praying and prayed for a year.
what we did was we walk around the school hall and started praying! it was so powerful.
the moment a person step into the hall, we prayed for the person that one day he will be save!
so amazing(:

My God is always so amazing! (:
i live each moment serving only You.

Loving life.